We have been trying to conceive since I was approximately 32. This is a hard time to pin down because I went off the pill, and back on, and off again. We used condoms and then we didn’t. I used OPK’s and then didn’t. I was hesitant at first because even though I have known my husband since I was 11 and we have always been very close I was afraid. I’d been engaged a few times and it never seemed right. Those first couple of years of marriage were pretty trying. I was 100% on board to be a wife and he just thought he was on board 100% to be a husband. All of my friends were married and most of his were not- the conflicts that caused were epic! We have been married about 7 ½ years now and I still cringe at those fights. I understand more about them now.. he was being pulled by his friends who thought if you called your wife to tell her that you’d be late you were whipped instead of polite and respectful. I can’t TELL you how many times I heard that annoying sound of someone pretending to crack a whip. I didn’t understand why suddenly he was rebelling about wanting to spend time with me. It was awful. I remember talking to my mother-in-law about all of this (BTW- I am the luckiest girl in the world when it comes to that- she is the BEST) and she told me the first year was the hardest. Then after our first year she started saying the second year was the hardest – when I called her on it she admitted that every year has a different challenge and it will always require work. So I was afraid to really “try” those first couple of years because I thought I’d get pregnant right away and I really wanted to make sure we were on solid ground first. I didn’t want to bring a child into an unstable home.
Well– fast forward a couple of years and at this point I am 35, we are very happy and I truly believe that we will be able to make this work. It doesn’t hurt that all of my husband’s friends by then were married or committed to women who truly deserved to hear that cracking whip sound. I actually had one tell me he is sorry for what he said to me and that my husband is a lucky man. So…we tried on our own seriously for another year even though I knew that since it had been a few years I should go to see a doctor. I admit I was afraid. I didn’t want to hear that there may be a problem. Finally, quietly, I went to see by Ob-gyn. Actually, I had to find my first real honest to goodness personal gynecologist – not just whichever PA was on duty at the clinic when I had to have my yearly so that I could get my prescription refilled. I had never gone anywhere except Planned Parenthood because, of course, my only “female issue” was trying not to get pregnant. Ha! So I found my new doctor and I clicked with her right away. She ran a bunch of tests and told me all was fine. She suggested that a few months of clomid and “timed sex” and we’d be well on our way to parenthood.
Boy- was SHE wrong.