6 weeks and counting…

Ok.. so at 6w 3d all was well and both of us were doing fine.  Well- nothing is EVER that easy! More bleeding over the weekend… another “emergency” appointment on Monday.  Does it EVER get easier?  I can handle cramps, yucky old blood, morning sickness (not that I have had much of that yet), boobs that hurt so bad that I want to chop them off, and generalized unfocused fear – but this focused fear because I am bleeding is bullsh*t!  I went from being on top of the world on Friday (WE SAW A FREAKING HEARTBEAT) to sad, depressed and hopeless on Saturday. 


So Monday’s ultrasound looks good the baby measures where she should and it all looks good..until…(imagine Jaws music here..dun duh dun duh dun duh dun duh AAAAAAH!) there is  problem.  I now have a sub chronic hematoma.  There is a collection of blood in the uterus.  HHmm.  What the hell does THAT mean.  But the “good news” is that “if I have to have one it is in the best place it can be”.  Wow- what a relief.. I am bleeding but at least it is below the baby so if it gushes out it is less likely to take my hopes and dreams with it- yippee.. I feel lucky.  So I try to look on the bright side – they warn me that more bleeding is imminent, they put me on very modified bed rest (no walking, standing or lifting and put my feet up every moment possible) and come back in a WEEK!  Again with the week thing..


So I get back to work and start googling like mad.. it seems an SCH is pretty common and if not resolved can cause miscarriage but that sometimes it just goes away.  Let’s hope mine is one of the type that disappear and never returns.  So from my research I now know what to ask them so I call the doctor and ask  how big mine is.  Today it is 1cm- which is smaller than my peanut at this point so I am going to stay as positive as possible, move as little as possible, and pray that this week is over FAST.   The reason I am to move as little as possible is that if the bleed moves between the placenta and uterine wall I am far more likely to miscarry and since I have been there three other times I don’t want to visit that again so I walk as little as possible but if I am walking I must look like I am walking on glass I am slow, gentle and I refuse to twist or turn around.


As bad as it is to worry about the bleed, I don’t want to tell my co-workers what is going on yet so I keep coming up with stupid reasons I am walking as if I just turned 180 years old.  Good grief – they must think I am totally nuts.


It is going to be a loooooong week.


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